THE DEVASTATING IMPACT OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ON SPOUSES AND CHILDREN: UNDERSTANDING THE EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL CONSEQUENCES. | CLEMENTINA E. UKIRI, ESQ.

Domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence, is a pervasive and insidious issue affecting millions of families worldwide. The consequences of domestic violence extend far beyond physical harm, causing profound emotional and psychological damage to both spouses and children. This article delves into the devastating effects of domestic violence, with a focus on emotional and verbal abuse, and explores its lasting impact on children's psychology.

The Impact on Spouses

Domestic violence can take many forms, including physical, emotional, verbal, financial, and psychological abuse. The effects on the abused spouse are multifaceted:

1. Anxiety and Depression: Living in a constant state of fear and tension leads to anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

2. Loss of Self-Esteem: Emotional and verbal abuses erode self-confidence, making victims question their worth and abilities.

3. Trauma Bonding: Abused spouses may develop a strong emotional connection with their abuser, making it difficult to leave the relationship.

4. Physical Health Consequences: Chronic stress and anxiety can lead to headaches, gastrointestinal issues, and a weakened immune system.

5. Social Isolation: Abusers often restrict social interactions, leaving victims feeling isolated and disconnected from friends and family.

The Impact on Children

Children exposed to domestic violence suffer profound psychological and emotional consequences:

1. Emotional Regulation Difficulties: Children struggle to manage their emotions, leading to anxiety, depression, and mood swings.

2. Behavioural Problems: Exposure to violence can lead to aggression, acting out, and conduct disorders.

3. Cognitive Delays: Chronic stress impairs cognitive development, affecting academic performance and problem-solving skills.

4. Attachment Issues: Children may develop insecure attachment styles, making it challenging to form healthy relationships.

5. Increased Risk of Victimization: Children who witness domestic violence are more likely to experience abuse in their own relationships.

The Effects of Emotional and Verbal Abuse

Emotional and verbal abuse can be just as damaging as physical violence:

1. Name-Calling and Belittling: Erodes self-esteem and confidence.

2. Gaslighting: Manipulates reality, making victims question their sanity.

3. Threats and Intimidation: Creates a climate of fear and anxiety.

4. Emotional Neglect: Ignores or dismisses emotional needs.

Breaking the Cycle

To mitigate the effects of domestic violence, it's essential to:

1. Seek Help: Contact national hotlines or local support services. 

2. Create a Safety Plan: Develop a plan for leaving the relationship, including emergency funds and safe housing.

3. Prioritize Self-Care: Engage in activities promoting physical and emotional well-being.

4. Seek Professional Help: Therapy can aid in recovery and healing.

Conclusion

Domestic violence has far-reaching consequences for both spouses and children. Emotional and verbal abuse can be just as damaging as physical violence. Breaking the cycle of abuse requires a comprehensive approach, including seeking help, creating a safety plan, and prioritizing self-care. By understanding the devastating impact of domestic violence, we can work towards creating a safer, more supportive environment for all. 

If you're experiencing domestic violence, it's important to call:

- Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (e.g., 0813 511 5111);

- Reach out to local organizations like Project Alert or Women's Rights Advancement and Protection Alternative (WRAPA);

- Due Process Advocates International (DPA) - +234 818 000 8266;

- Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or religious leader;

- Seek professional help from a therapist or counsellor.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please seek immediate assistance.